Control tantrums

There are times when the fat cats make the wrong decision and the annoying consequences are yours.  Knowing what you know, the consequences will have a cumulative effect, repeatedly robbing your time and money.  Sounds like it’s time for a tantrum.  The anger is justified, but you’re in a danger zone.  If you throw a tantrum, you risk losing credibility.  If you accept circumstances too willingly, you risk losing your sense of spine (along with the time and money).

The middle ground is just too tricky to navigate in front of the fat cats, so here are some guidelines for managing at least partially-justified tantrums.

1)  Out of respect for those who are truly suffering, keep it down.  Losing time and money is a drag.  Going through something that causes you to lose hope is a devastation.  Know the difference and allow it to temper your tantrum.

2)  Respond honestly, but don’t be a jerk.  If you’re not happy, don’t pretend you are.  Don’t be rude, though, or speak too harshly.  If you’re a nice human being, you won’t like the echo of your rude or harsh words in your head later on.

3)  If you feel jerkness coming, delay your response.  This is the same concept as counting to 10, but you might need to count to 10 days (or longer) to calm down and access logic.

4)  Express your opinion.  Tell your safe people exactly what you think without censoring.  These people will be on your side, understand your point of view, and help you feel supported.  This helps the calming down process.  As soon as you won’t be a rude jerk, tell the fat cats your opinion.  Do so in a reasonable manner with lots of solid eye contact.

5)  Do not turn your anger inward.  It can be tempting.  Perhaps it’s a well-trod mental path.  You are not the fat cats.  It is not “safer” to be mad at yourself.  You are you, and you need to be friends with yourself to have the best life.  Be on your own side, make sure you have allies, and cope from there.

6) Lobby for change if possible, but if you’re a little mouse in a fat cat world, use your legs to find another way to your mousehole. There will be a way, whether it’s a shift in attitude or logistics. Not feeling resentment is the goal. When that’s reached, you can rest.