Oh, the need to be loved. It’s what’s at the bottom of everything that delights and troubles us. When we’re still in the phase of sometimes (as opposed to almost always/always) realizing that we are loved, we keep competing, measuring, needing affirmation.
Depending on how we compete and compare, we can win, and it feels fantastic. That’s part of the problem. We want that feeling because it makes us feel worthy of love. Winners are lovable. Losers are losers.
What do we tell ourselves when we compete and lose? When we don’t measure up? Try harder? Compete harder? Use it as motivation to be better than others? The thought arises to give up. But that would be giving up! “Never give up!” Except when it might be the smartest thing we could possibly do.
When people are trying to best us and we have any shred of a competitive nature inside of us, it’s so easy to get sucked in- especially when we need love, which we just *do*.
Bow out, bow out, bow out. You’re the only you. They’re the only them. You’re alive right now, and you could be dead at any second. They’re alive right now, and they could be dead at any second. Don’t bother competing with someone who isn’t you unless you want to play a game that is inherently unfair.
P.S. I get that there are positive types of competition that are motivating and inspirational to people in a specific area; that’s different than what I’m talking about here, which is the rat racey stuff.