You’re you and nature’s nature

Blaming and taking credit for nature- both are tempting, but you can’t reasonably do both.  If you’re going to blame nature for weather or the existence of disease, for example, then you had better praise it for dazzling sunrises and the fact that we heal.

I confess that I have used nature to build and thrash my ego.  Inside myself, I have taken credit for the color of my hair and the beauty of the trees that were close to where I lived, among other things over which I have had no control.  It sounds ridiculous because it is ridiculous.  Even more embarassing:  When I was pregnant for a couple months, I actually felt proud, bordering on superior.  Then my pregnancies ended with no baby and how did I feel?  Rejected, humiliated, decidedly inferior to all mothers and even fathers.  Creating a strong relationship between nature and one’s ego can lead to a constant struggle due to the ever-present highs and lows that result.  “I” feel wonderful when flowers are growing in my front yard, but “I” feel upset when pests attack them.  The ego takes everything personally, but aren’t we so often and wisely advised against doing so?

I am me, a human being, living among thousands of equally important human beings.  Nature does what it does.  I have a strong and constant relationship with nature and its effects, but ought not use nature to decide how worthy or unworthy I am.  Does the fact that I am not fighting a deadly disease make me more lovable than someone who is?  Does my inability to sustain a pregnancy make me less lovable than women who can?

Decreasing the ego has to be a deliberate process in this society in which it dominates.  A smaller ego, though, is worth the effort.  Life goes from getting lost in thoughts about how good or bad one is to actually being involved in moments, living.  When there is positive news, one can simply feel happy rather than justified.  When there is negative news, one can simply feel sad rather than attacked.

Be yourself, let nature be itself.  There is a necessary relationship between you and nature, but let it be one without inappropriately ascribed credit or blame.