Be annoyed, then get to the bottom line

I have a pet peeve that I do my best to not do to others because it has irritated me repeatedly during my life.  If one calls a person knowing that one doesn’t have much time, one should immediately communicate that one does not have much time.  When the unaware party shares even a small bit of information in the attempt to be supportive and/or humane, or even just to connect with the busy one and then the busy one does a brush-off, suddenly stating that they have something more important to do and that they don’t have time to talk, it’s annoying.  I fully understand that people have pressing moments, as I do.  Either don’t make the call at that moment, or communicate that there is time pressure.

Within the last 15 minutes, I have just gotten the busy bee brush-off once again, and I am taking this moment to focus on staying annoyed rather than moving in to feeling rather stupid, which is my reflex.  If I feel stupid, then the mistake was mine, and that is a more comfortable thought for me than being annoyed with someone else.  I can even move in to feeling hurt and rejected, even while fully understanding that this person had no intention to hurt or reject me, which is also more comfortable than annoyance.  Feeling stupid, hurt, and rejected makes me feel weak, and I am going to choose a different path right now than I have in the past.

Feeling annoyed makes me uncomfortable because it makes me think that I am opening myself up to the reality that I can and do annoy people without intending to do so.  Let me sit with that.  I annoy people.  I am lovable anyway.  I hurt people.  I am lovable anyway.

Busy bee is absolutely lovable, a wonderful person.  And I’m annoyed by something thoughtless that she did.  She might be annoyed with me for speaking two sentences for which she had not the time.  Is it worth thinking about for even seconds longer?  Only for the purpose of putting myself through this exercise of sitting with annoyance without turning it inward.  Acknowledging it and sitting with it is actually allowing me to move away from it.  There are times to be annoyed, but then move on as quickly as the mind will allow.

She is worthy of love, and so am I.

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