I may be a white-legged-slow-car-driving person who eats fattening food but…

at least I am not any of the three strangers who shamelessly highlighted these points to me!

I have a witness.  This all happened in the span of less than four hours.  Where else could it happen but in the “City of Good Living”?  It’s a community vastly more adorable than my “Industrial City”, but…

My dear friend (who happens to have a lovely tan) and I had just met, given each other a big hug, and started to chat and walk down the street when a man walked up to her and said, “I’m going to give your friend a coupon for a tanning booth.”

After purchasing a long skirt (you know, to cover my alabaster gams), we walked to my value-package Honda Civic to put the skirt in the car.  There was a Corvette parked next to my car.  A man standing near the Corvette looked at me and said sarcastically, “Wanna race?  Looks like you have a really fast car.”

Later, we sat on a bench to eat some ice cream.  I had a cone that I was enjoying.  A woman walked by and said, “Ooooh!  Mint chip!  That looks fattening.”

Fortunately, I have changed since I was 13 (okay, 26) and I honestly laughted heartily after each of these zingers.  Years ago, I might have spent the rest of the day uncomfortable with my legs showing, wishing I had bought a shnazzier car, wondering if that woman was implying that I ought not be eating ice cream due to my size.  Entirely comfortable in my [blinding] skin, I would do the day over without changing a thing.  This tells me that I care more about myself than I do about them.  I am still a people-pleaser, but I’m thinking that my reaction to this episode means that I have at least partially moved beyond trying to impress people I don’t know.

Unfortunately, I wasn’t quick enough to zing anything clever or wise back at any of those who zang.  I’m thankful for them, though.  They don’t know that they all had partners in social crime, and they don’t know that they have caused mirth among me and close loved ones.  The humor is somewhat self-deprecating, which I don’t mind at all, but who really winds up looking bad?  It is not I!

My white legs (with visible varicose veins, by the way) work, and I am extremely thankful for them.  My car may be slow, but I have never been waiting for automotive assistance by the side of the road since buying it.  Ice cream is fattening, but it’s absolutely delicious.

Friends, be yourselves boldly.  Those who love you love you.  It’s not worth it giving sacred internal power to those who don’t.