The wisdom of turquoise toenails

I just wrote a nice entry, and then the whole thing disappeard in to nothingness, in spite of being “automatically saved” every few minutes or so.  That felt like a slap.

But I am determined, so here I go again.

I don’t understand how many women can keep up with having their finger and/or toenails done.  Most of the time, I am slightly aggravated by a hangnail, too-long fingernails, or my toenails being what they typically are, which is not pretty.  Sparing you the details, I’ll just say that it’s a good thing I live in a foggy and chilly area so my feet can reasonably be covered most of the year.  People’s baby toes are usually funny-looking, but mine have a particularly odd shape and placement.  The longer one looks at them, the stranger they appear.

When life feels less than fabulous, catching glimpses of my neglected toenails makes the lack of fabulosity seem highlighted.  But when I look down and see my favorite color, which is turquoise, I can’t help feeling a prick of delight.  I ‘don’t have time’ to give myself pedicures, but I DO have time to work on email, do laundry, do paperwork, wash dishes…  Delight deserves to be highly prioritized in life, particularly for people like me who are overly wrapped up in being responsible.

Nail spas are consistently crowded, and I confess to internally criticizing their customers as I responsibly run errands.  Yes, this is horrible and unreasonable- I’ll bet many of those women enjoying a window of time work harder than I.  I have secretly wanted to allow myself that indulgence, but I ‘have to’ do other things.  In order to feel okay about saying “no” to myself, I have had to see myself as doing the right thing.  The right thing is balancing responsibility and delight, not being a responsibility robot.

Now, when I see all of those people getting manicures and pedicures, I will cheer on the wisdom of their priorities.  When I take time to give myself pedicures, I will know that I am deliberately doing something to create a bit of joy in my own life, which makes me more likely to have some to share with others.

This wasn’t as good as my original, but at least I have turquoise toenails.


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